By Stephanie Andre
RISMEDIA, Nov. 6, 2008-It was the best money he ever spent, Patrick Bocchiccio recently told a couple of industry buddies. The broker/owner of KingsGate Realty in New Jersey had been comparing notes on business coaches. “They were so-so about their coaches. I told them that I was so blown away by my coach that after the first week, I felt I got my money’s worth. My coach changed my whole way of thinking.”
After completing the 10-week coaching program, Bocchiccio reorganized his business.
“It was a life-altering experience,” he says. “I felt free to be who I really am, instead of the stereotype I thought I had to be. I eliminated my debt and business just started flowing my way. The market is tough but we are doing well.”
The foundation of the coaching program, designed by Kim Ades, founder and president of Frame of Mind Coaching, is keeping a daily journal. According to Ades, the simple act of journaling has proven instrumental in allowing her clients to become aware of the negative thoughts that block their success.
“Once these thoughts are identified, the process of making significant shifts in thinking can begin and this inevitably leads them to succeed. There is a magical element about it all and clients are blown away,” says Ades.
Unlike many coaching programs that emphasize client accountability, Ades stays far away from methods that insist you make 50 cold calls before the next session and then holds you accountable to the coach. “That approach doesn’t work,” she explains. “It says that you hired me to be on your back and that’s not what I believe in. You need to be accountable to yourself, not to me. It’s a very important distinction.”
Instead, Frame of Mind Coaching uses journaling to help clients increase their clarity about what they want in their lives and use it to attract incredible results. Writing in an online journal every day allows clients to make significant changes in their thinking, creating the foundation toward achieving unlimited results. Ades and her team of highly trained coaches read through client journals each week and, along with specific comments, ask pointed questions that lead the client to making vital self discoveries.
“This is a very intense process that creates dramatic personal awareness,” Ades says. “When you start to understand the role that you play in the outcomes in your life, things start getting better and keep getting better.”
Bocchiccio says he kept his journal “religiously” and during their weekly coaching call, Ades referred back to it regularly, using it to help him see things about himself that he could not see before. “She told me to be more descriptive, to write more,” he explains. “She pulled a lot out of me that I was holding back. I surprised myself every day.”
Ades is very clear about the way journals are used to help agents grow: “I ask questions that challenge a person’s limiting beliefs and allow them to dig deeper, unlocking the shackles that weigh them down. When this happens, they are able to approach their life in a whole new way.”
One of the things Bocchiccio learned was that in spite of barely finishing high school, he was smart. He also discovered why he never had enough money, despite being a good earner. “Growing up in an Italian family, I was used to doing for everybody else first. Kim just refocused me so that I think of myself first. It hit me like a ton of bricks.”
Helping clients think differently is the cornerstone of the Frame of Mind Coaching program. Ades points out that even though today’s real estate industry is largely suffering, many people are still doing extraordinarily well. “Real estate is very much a rollercoaster ride with very steep peaks and very deep valleys,” she explains.
“It’s not that people who achieve incredible goals are better looking, smarter or have more wealth,” Ades continues. “It’s simply that they think differently. They look at ways to flex their mind muscle on the way down towards a valley so they can stop short and get back on the upswing quickly.”
Bocchiccio admits he was blindsided by one-on-one coaching. “I said, ‘Do I need another expense?’ But it exceeded my expectations by a long shot. To those who feel lost or aren’t sure where they’re going, I say, don’t think about it. Just do it.”
How Journaling Works
“Journaling has a transformational effect,” says Ades.
First, when you write about the events in your life and how you feel about them, you start to gain insight about what you are thinking. Journaling enables you to see your thoughts separately from yourself, allowing you to identify which thoughts serve you and which ones stand in your way. There is a purging aspect in the journaling process that releases tremendous amounts of tension and stress. Once that stress is released, you are far more open to allowing great things to come into your life. Your resistance dissipates.
Second, journaling provides you with the place to make conscious choices about the thoughts that you want to focus on. Fundamentally, what you focus on grows, so pointing your thoughts in the right direction is crucial for your own growth.
Third, journaling provides you with a blank canvas to draw, design and create the vision of what you want for your life with detail. “When I coach people, one of the earliest questions I ask is, ‘What do you really, really want?’ Most people have some vague idea, but they are not very clear. Journaling helps people define what they want with color, texture, and shading. The more clarity you have about what you want, the more easily it will come your way,” suggests Ades.
Ades is also very clear that it is not necessary to have a coach in order to learn from journaling.
“Anybody who journals, regardless of whether or not they have a coach, will discover the huge benefits,” she explains. “The impact of working with a coach as opposed to doing it alone is having consistent and thought-provoking feedback. If I ask you a question such as ‘how wealthy do you want to be?’ and you say, ‘I want to have $200,000.’ I’ll ask ‘why didn’t you say a million?’ The answers to those questions will create learning for you. Period.”
New Online Journaling Program
Can’t afford one-on-one or group coaching? Kim Ades, founder and president, and her team of experts at Frame of Mind Coaching, have just launched a new and highly cost-effective online journaling program. The program, called FOM52, takes you through a complete, one-year (52-week) coaching program that provides weekly guidelines of what to write about. According to Ades, this process will lead you to making profound and unlimited changes in your life.
“What we found is that journaling is the key to the success of our coaching program,” says Ades. “We discovered that when our coaching calls are backed up by strategic journaling, this is when our clients have experienced the most powerful shifts in their lives.”
With secure access similar to that used for online banking, clients use a passcode to get to their journal from any Internet-linked computer. Should they choose to, they can also share their journal experience with other members of the FOM52 online journaling community.
For more information, visit www.frameofmindcoaching.com.