RISMEDIA, February 13, 2010—In my 13 years of coaching entrepreneurs to be successful, I have uncovered that many people have a deep-seated fear of success. When I probe for the reasons behind this fear of success, the pattern is very similar. The clients that I work with who are afraid to be successful often had situations in their childhood that caused them to retreat. There were hostile environments, turmoil, chaos and fighting, and the individual did the only safe thing to do, which was to withdraw and form the belief that it’s really not safe to be visible. Along with that, other core beliefs that were formed include: It’s not safe to express my feelings; it’s not safe to be myself; it’s not safe to succeed. Basically, succeeding was not safe because succeeding left the client more exposed, more visible, and therefore a possible target for punishment or disapproval.
I recently finished working with a client who has much talent and potential to succeed. She is currently dismantling her old programming from childhood, and discovering that even with all of her potential success and experience, there lies a deep-seated belief that if she was successful, more would be expected of her and she would subject herself to criticism and disapproval. This stops her from taking the actions she needs to take to be successful.
Gradually over time in our sessions, we’re going back and helping her release those old programs that have inhibited her success. She is now beginning to understand that her safety in life doesn’t depend on retreating; her safety depends on fulfilling her potential. In our last session together, she created some new empowered beliefs, such as;
-I welcome greater and greater success.
-I am experiencing massive amounts of success.
-I have created balance between my personal and professional life.
-I fully express my talents and abilities.
-My safety depends on living up to my full potential.
After only a month of working together, this client is already reporting feeling more confident, vast improvement in her negotiation skills, her speaking skills, and an increased ability to set boundaries with her clients. All of this is happening because of the understanding that success comes from the inside out. She was subconsciously blocking herself, as many of us do with the fear of success and sometimes even the fear of failure. Once these blocks are removed, we regain our confidence. Many of my clients double and triple their incomes after going through this process.
Here’s a coaching hint: If you suspect that you are blocking yourself from success, sit down, get a pen and paper out, and write down the possible blocks or self-limiting beliefs that could be causing you to retreat from success. Then ask yourself if you are willing to look at those self-limiting beliefs and reprogram them. The benefits are enormous; the choice is yours.
Dr. Maya Bailey, author of Law of Attraction for Real Estate Professionals, integrates 20 years of experience as a psychologist and 12 years as a business coach with her expertise in the Law of Attraction. Get Bailey’s free report, 7 Simple Strategies For More Clients in 90 Days, by visiting www.90DaystoMoreClients.com.