By Maya Bailey, Ph.D.
Have you ever felt like you had reached a plateau and could go no higher? If so, you’re not alone; many people sabotage their own success. In my work as a real estate business coach for the past 15+ years, I have had many people present a similar question: “Why can’t I be more successful? Why do I stop myself? I feel like I am my own worst enemy.”
If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re probably suffering from a pattern of self sabotage in which you get in your own way. While on the one hand, your conscious mind is saying, I want to be more successful, your subconscious mind is caught in a “Fear of Success Syndrome”.
There are several things that cause people to be afraid of success:
1. They associate success with stress:
It’s a prevailing idea in our society that if you want to be successful, you have to work hard, struggle and strive. Many of my clients have done that and reached a place of “burnout.” Then they are faced with the dilemma of wanting to move forward, while also having a very unpleasant memory of what it was like before.
They need to work hard at reprogramming the self limiting belief, “To be successful you have to work very hard,” and replace it with an empowered belief, such as “I am committed to working smarter, not harder.”
2. The next self limiting belief that stops people from success is “I’m not worthy” or “I do not deserve.”
Usually, we are not scripted to be successful when we were growing up. Rather, we were told to fit in and not bring too much attention to ourselves.
We often incurred criticism when we felt too good about ourselves and heard things like, “Who do you think you are?” Being boastful was considered conceited. Many of us over generalized and made the mistake of thinking that we shouldn’t think too highly of ourselves, and if we did, someone would shoot us down.
The truth is that a healthy level of self-confidence is necessary to be successful. In addition, happiness is feeling good about yourself. If you’ve been carrying any of the old beliefs that make you feel unworthy, I urge you to replace them with empowered beliefs, such as:
• I am more than worthy of prosperity.
• I am highly deserving of an abundance of good.
• It is now okay for me to feel good about myself.
• I give myself permission to feel pride in the work that I do.
• As I share my expertise, I am worthy of being amply rewarded.
Say these empowered beliefs to yourself frequently to raise your level of self-confidence.
3. The “gung ho” vs. “comfort zone” conflict
Let’s face it—in order to be successful you have to take a leap of faith and leave your comfort zone. Moving forward always involves some risk.
However, what many people fail to realize is that staying stuck in your comfort zone also involves risk. What risk? It’s the risk of not fulfilling your potential, the risk of staying at a low financial level, the risk of never reaching your dreams.
In all of us there is an inner struggle between the part of us that wants us to dream big, and the part of us that wants us to settle for what we have. Usually some inner “conflict resolution” will help you to realize that you can have a win-win between both parts of you.
The “gung ho” part needs to realize that you need a balanced life with plenty of time for self-care and self maintenance. The “comfort zone” part needs to realize that the comfort zone is not safe, and that sensations that are labeled fear can just as easily be labeled excitement as you find the growing edge of your comfort zone and move beyond it.
To reinforce the balance of these two parts of us, I recommend these empowered beliefs:
• It is now safe for me to grow and expand
• I’m committed to creating success in a balanced way
Here’s one of my favorites, “In an easy and relaxed manner, in a healthy and positive way, I create total financial success, for the highest good of all”.
Let this be your mantra and allow yourself to grow into your full potential with ease and grace.
Dr. Maya Bailey, Multiple 6 Figure Income Business Coach for Real Estate Professionals, integrates her 20 years of experience as a psychologist with 15 years of expertise in marketing.
For more information, visit www.90daystomoreclients.com.
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