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By Dr. Cliff Baird

RISMEDIA, Oct. 17, 2007- Rather than explaining the obvious importance of how encouragement and motivation so dramatically effects us, let us examine the opposite and outline how we can tragically, and sometimes inadvertently, de-motivate and discourage our family, friends and business associates.

If you have ever been to a symphony performance or watched one on television, then you will recognize this moment. The audience has been ushered to their seats, the lights have been dimmed, the players have taken their spots and have tuned their instruments and then the conductor makes his entrance.

After a few brief moments of bantering with some of the musicians, he walks to the microphone at center stage, the spotlight illuminates his presence and he begins to address the crowd. He thanks us for making the evening possible and then explains the format of the program and, in particular, the first set.

When he finishes, he turns to face the musicians-that’s when it suddenly dawned on me. A life principle so profound had surfaced in the hush of that moment.

In order to get great music from the symphony, he had to turn his back to the crowd. Did you get it? There are some crowds and some people that we will have to turn our backs to if we want the very best music from our lives.

Here are eight guaranteed ways that we can create unhealthy, defeated and grossly submissive attitudes in others:

1. Belittle them.
2. Always criticize in front of their peers and/or family.
3. Never give them your undivided attention.
4. Always appear preoccupied with your own interests.
5. Always play favorites.
6. Never be sensitive to small things in their lives.
7. Never let them grow.
8. Always embarrass them.

Isn’t it appalling to think of how destructive these behaviors can be? It can really only be seen as horrific if you have personally experienced some of them. Isn’t it tragic to think of how many potentially productive minds and hearts have been brutally scarred by such insensitive behavior?

This is your great opportunity to stand out like a light in the night and draw the favor of your family, friends and associates. Your real estate business will flourish and your health will be vibrant. Go ahead, turn your back to that crowd and let your life resonate with great music and abundant success.

You deserve it-so do your family, your friends and your clients.

“He has no enemies but he is greatly disliked by his friends.” – Oscar Wilde.

Cliff Baird, MBA, PhD, is a business therapist and real estate sales management coach, helping agents and managers for over 25 years.

For more information, please visit or e-mail