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This article first appeared in Real Estate magazine’s special-edition Women in Real Estate issue. View the entire issue here.

Three years ago, my business partner Darryl Davis asked me to join his team to provide a next level of content and creativity to our Power Agent® membership. We love helping agents grow their business and their confidence to serve their communities at the highest level.

What’s at the heart of that growth? 
A commitment to serve, not sell. It may not sound like a big deal, but it is the significant distinction that makes the difference. One of the first times I saw Darryl deliver this message to a room full of agents, he challenged them to start thinking differently about how they interacted with people. He told them to serve, not sell. To coach, not close. You could hear a collective sigh in the room from agents who had been told (some for years) that they needed to deliver canned dialogues and close hard for the signature. But you could feel the energy shift when agents first “got it” and understood that they didn’t have to be “that agent”—that hard-core closer. They can come from a place of service, which is what people want in this world anyway.

What about you? Is this a shift you’d like to make? Here are four things to consider:

1. Make every conversation about others, not “getting the appointment or listing.” When you are there to serve, you are more present and focused on others. This fosters more active listening and helps you to be more present in the conversation.

2. Set up win-win scenarios. When you’re prospecting just to get an appointment, that’s a win-lose scenario. But if you’re calling to build rapport and a relationship with another human being, that’s a win-win. Even if you don’t get the appointment, you’re getting out of your comfort zone and building confidence in your ability to communicate.

3. Speak from your heart, not your head. When you’re focused on memorized dialogue, you’re always “skipping ahead” in a conversation to get to your part. Instead, use metaphors and analogies that help you communicate the ways in which you can serve in a more connective and present way.

4. Make it about people, not transactions. Instead of having a goal of getting a certain number of listings per month, shift your language to, “This month, I will serve X number of families.” When money isn’t the focus, relationships become the star.

If serving, not selling, feels right for you, you’re in really good company—and we’re here to help connect you with like-minded professionals. Have a great month!

Julie Escobar is vice president of operations at Darryl Davis Seminars. For more than 25 years, she has brought high-performing sales and marketing solutions to real estate professionals across North America. Together with her partner, Darryl Davis, she manages one of the most innovative real estate training systems in the country, The Power Program®, which has proven to help agents double their production over their previous year. Her team is currently hosting free weekly webinars to help agents navigate change, grow their business and design lives worth smiling about. Learn more at www.darrylspeaks.com/Online-Training.