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I have spoken often about the phrase “coach, don’t close,” and for those who haven’t heard me say that before, I want to clarify what it really means.

Closing vs. Coaching
Closing is an old approach to sales. “Let me close that deal.” “Let me get that listing appointment.” “Let me make that big sale.” The essence of closing is all about you.

The essence of coaching is all about them. When I coach Power Agents®, or a financial planner coaches a client about investments, or a real estate agent coaches buyers and sellers, it boils down to discovering what they are committed to—and based on that, you give them the best possible advice so that they can accomplish whatever it is they are committed to.

The Example
Let’s say you have a seller you’re meeting with for a listing appointment who’s considering selling and moving elsewhere to retire. If you’re focused on coaching, you might say, “My advice to you is that you get on the Multiple Listing Service with a real estate professional because you shouldn’t do this on your own, and here’s why. Most homeowners will be working with an agent, with 87% of all sales going through a real estate agent. If you are going on your own, you could really only be hitting 13% of the market and missing out on that 87%. You really should work with an agent so they can help you sell your home faster and for the highest possible price.”

Do you see what this coaching looks like? In the end, the result will be the same. You will get the listing, and you will sell the house—but it all comes from a place of service, not selling.

The Benefit to Coaching, Not Closing
Here’s the nice thing about the distinction. When it’s about us getting that appointment, getting the listing, making the sale or closing, we put a tremendous amount of stress on ourselves to perform. If we don’t get the appointment or the sale, we lost.

When it’s about coaching, helping and serving, all the pressure is taken away, giving you the freedom to be effective.

The Takeaway
Every successful business is often centered around others. Some people are driven by money, and they are charged by that, but others are charged by making a difference. The money is only an indication of the number of people they’ve helped and served.

When we approach calls and conversations with the attitude of coaching, we will be far more effective. We can’t control what the result will be, but we can control who we are and what we bring to the conversation.

Coaching is all about the good of the client, not us.

Darryl Davis has spoken to, trained and coached more than 100,000 real estate professionals around the globe. He is a best-selling author for McGraw-Hill Publishing, and his book, “How to Become a Power Agent® in Real Estate” tops Amazon’s charts for most-sold book to real estate agents. He is the founder of the Next Level® real estate training system The Power Program®, which has proven to help agents double their production over their previous year. Davis is currently hosting free weekly webinars to help agents navigate the new real estate reality. To learn more, visit