I’m not a therapist. Not by a long shot. But I’ve been around this world and our industry a long time. I’ve put in the work on the topic of helping agents stay focused in their lives and careers. One thing I can say with conviction is that feelings are not always facts, and that is an important distinction right now.
In our country and our world, things are scary. They are chaotic. They are next-level anxiety fuel. It’s easy to get caught up in the talking points, news, rhetoric and the sense of overwhelm that big change creates. Here’s what I know: When we let fear and feelings of uncertainty and unsteadiness take the driver’s seat, it’s almost impossible to have the mental and emotional bandwidth to find our footing and forge ahead every day.
That’s why I want to talk less about sales skills and more about the skillset of separating facts from feelings. Our feelings are emotional reactions to what we are hearing, seeing and absorbing—but that doesn’t mean they are factual.
Let me give you an example. We have a wide swath of agents right now feeling completely overwhelmed by technology and steep learning curves as they navigate how to stay afloat—or even how to compete during this time. What are we hearing from them? “I’m too old to learn this.” “I can’t keep up with the technology.” “I don’t know what I’m doing.” “I’ll never get this in time!”
Those are feelings. They aren’t facts. First, take a deep breath, separate the feelings from facts and ask yourself, “If I could do ___, how would I?” Human beings are incredibly resilient, and our brain is about a billion times more powerful at answering questions than we will ever give it credit for. The key is to start asking the right ones, to start shutting down the “I can’t” internal dialogue and replace it with empowering questions that are eager for answers.
Second, give yourself permission to fail. Almost everyone on the planet is shifting, adjusting, learning, changing and processing. It’s alright to mess up. In fact, it’s more than alright. It’s progress. Sometimes we learn way more from our mistakes than we ever do from our successes, so give yourself a break and understand that it may take time to get comfortable and feel competent at new skills. Get totally comfortable with being uncomfortable. My better half, April, has a saying for when anything in our lives seems totally upside down from what “was,” like breakfast for dinner or pie for breakfast. “Everything is different now,” she says. She’s right, and not only is it good to embrace that and learn to shift right along with the changes, but it’s also healthy.
Darryl Davis has spoken to, trained and coached more than 100,000 real estate professionals around the globe. He is a best-selling author for McGraw-Hill Publishing, and his book, “How to Become a Power Agent® in Real Estate,” tops Amazon’s charts for most sold book to real estate agents. He is the founder of the Next Level® real estate training system The Power Program®, which has proven to help agents double their production over their previous year. Davis earned the Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) designation, held by less than 2 percent of all speakers worldwide. To learn more, visit www.thepowerprogram.com.