Canter says they eventually agreed on a set she particularly liked from Restoration Hardware. She thinks the fact that they shopped for them on her birthday gave her an edge.
“He’s 85 percent ‘it’s got to be utilitarian’ and I’m pretty much ‘it’s got to look great,’” Canter says.
There’s also an emotional payoff when less demonstrative partners are invited to share their perspectives on design, Waldron says. When he or she speaks up—and is listened to—it yields a design that’s illustrative of the couple, not just one person. It also makes both people feel validated.
To foster an atmosphere of cooperation, Hanby-Robie says that when she’s consulting with couples she asks each person to bring in up to 15 pictures of rooms they like and to imagine their ideal space.
“All of us have a place we’ve been that we just love and in the perfect world would have that room as our own,” she says. Maybe it’s a cafe, a library or a room from your childhood home.
After understanding what each person visualizes, Hanby-Robie blends the concepts to create a scheme that fits the personalities and lifestyles of the couple.
Hanby-Robie told a story about one of her clients, a married couple who recently redecorated their master bedroom. The man was intent on having a spacious leather chair in the room, but it clashed with his wife’s more feminine approach for the room’s design.
“He got his leather chair,” Hanby-Robie says. “But it came in a pastel color.”
Fortunately, he was OK with that.
If you and your partner can’t agree on an overall design scheme for your home, decorating room by room might be the solution. Hanby-Robie’s philosophy to this approach is that the person for whom the room is most important is the one who should call the shots. This approach can also be applied to where you display the Lladro collection, baseball paraphernalia, etc.
What’s key for a couple to remember in home decor is that the space should ultimately be a welcoming environment for both of you, and anyone else who lives in the home.
While you may have spent the last 10 years envisioning your dream dining room or bedroom, remember, it’s someone else’s home, too. Someone, don’t forget, you happen to love.
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