By Maya Bailey Ph.D.
RISMEDIA, July 30, 2009-Do you know the number one reason why most people fail to reach their goals? Is it the lack of skill, lack of intelligence, or lack of motivation?
The answer is, “none of the above.” Rather, it is the presence of self limiting beliefs.
Having been a business coach for the past 12 years, I’ve noticed that everyone has an abundance of self limiting beliefs. Sometimes these lie dormant for years, but when you are building a business, they often stop you dead in your tracks.
I’ve noticed that there are categories in which most people have self limiting beliefs:
Beliefs about themselves
Beliefs about money
Beliefs about work
Let’s take these categories one at a time and discover the self limiting beliefs that live within each of us.
Beliefs about yourself. Do any of these sound familiar?
“I’m not educated enough”
“I’m not good enough”
“It’s selfish for me to want more”
Beliefs about work
“Work needs to be hard”
“Work requires struggle and sacrifice”
“To be successful I have to give up my personal life”
Beliefs about money
“There is never enough money”
“Nice people don’t have money”
“People who have money are cut-throat”
“Money will create a problem in my relationships”
If you recognize any of these self limiting beliefs in yourself, keep in mind that:
- It doesn’t help to judge yourself for these beliefs, so be compassionate with yourself.
- These beliefs are not facts, just beliefs.
- These beliefs can be changed, you’re not stuck with them.
At this point, you’re probably wondering, “How do I get rid of these beliefs?”
Make a T diagram by drawing a horizontal line on your paper and a vertical line. This will create two columns. Label the heading of the left-hand column, “self limiting beliefs”. Then label the right-hand column, “empowered beliefs”.
After you’ve written down all of your self limiting beliefs in your left-hand column, find the belief that would cancel out the old belief. Then write that in your right-hand column.
For example, if your self limiting belief about yourself is, “I don’t have what it takes to succeed”, then cancel that out by writing the opposite of that statement in your right-hand column, such as,” I have more than I need to succeed.”
Make a list of your inner and outer resources. At the top of the page write, “I have all I need to succeed.” Then began to write down all of your inner resources, such as intelligence, determination, people skills and so forth.
Next, determine your outer resources, such as: a supportive office, a supportive spouse, years of experience, an excellent mentor and so forth.
Become highly aware of your thoughts and feelings. If you’re feeling anything less than wonderful, then you’re probably focusing on what you don’t want, rather than what you do want. When you notice that, ask yourself, “So…what do I want?”
Once you are aware of what you want, begin to visualize it and feel what it feels like to have it. For example, if you want to make $400,000 a year, work 30 hours or less a week and take several vacations within the next 12 months, visualize that. Close your eyes and capture the feeling.
Take a few moments each day to be in that feeling. Be sure to bring all of your senses into it.
For example, if you visualize yourself vacationing in Hawaii, feel the balmy ocean air, the feeling of the sand beneath you, the warmth of the sun on your body and so forth.
If any self limiting belief opposes your intention to make $400,000 a year, work 30 hours a week or less, and have several vacations within the next 12 months, become a “loving detective” in yourself and find out what self limiting belief is opposing that.
In other words, what is your counter intention? For most people, it is the belief that “I’m not worthy of abundance.”
Ask your old belief this question, “What are you trying to do for me, by having me hold on to the belief that I’m not worthy of abundance?”
Most of the time, the answer will be, “I’m trying to keep you safe.”
When I coach my clients, I help them see the origin of that belief so they are able to realize the connection in their subconscious mind between perceived “safety”
and stopping themselves from abundance.
Usually what we discover is that this belief was installed as a survival strategy in childhood. Once the awareness of that is available, we can reprogram or release that self limiting belief. I have my clients thank that self limiting belief for trying to be of service, and then release it to its highest good.
If you have been feeling stuck and unable to reach your goals, I would highly recommend that you practice the five steps described above. Once you’ve released your self limiting beliefs, you will have unleashed your “unstoppable energy.” Success is created from the inside out. By doing this inner work, you are building a solid blueprint for success within yourself.
Dr. Maya Bailey, author of Law of Attraction for Real Estate Professionals, integrates 20 years of experience as a psychologist and 12 years as a business coach with her expertise in the Law of Attraction. Get Bailey’s free report, 7 Simple Strategies For More Clients in 90 Days, by visiting www.90DaystoMoreClients.com.
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