Connecting Through Conflict: 5 Ways Great Connectors Turn Angry Clients into Happy Ones and How You Can Too

By Maribeth Kuzmeski Print Article

RISMEDIA, October 20, 2009—It happens to the best of us. An upset client calls to complain about a product or service, and you’re completely caught off guard. How do you react? Do you fly off the handle right along with him? Or do you respond in a calm, thoughtful way that salvages and even strengthens your relationship? Author Maribeth Kuzmeski says that a high-pressure scenario doesn’t have to blow your client relationship sky-high—in fact, you can use it as an opportunity to truly connect with your client and keep him around for the long haul. 

“Conflict is a normal part of business, and we all need to learn how to deal with it in the right way,” says Kuzmeski, author of The Connectors: How the World’s Most Successful Businesspeople Build Relationships and Win Clients for Life. Some clients are just plain difficult. And yes, ‘easy’ clients can also become dissatisfied for a variety of reasons. The good news is that there are effective ways to handle conflict and resolve issues—and these methods will actually strengthen your relationship. 

“Remember that quite often, unhappy clients will not even tell you that they have a problem,” she adds. “They simply move their business elsewhere. So, if a client thinks enough of you to give you the chance to repair a bad situation, take it. Play an active role in making your customer happy so that you can be sure to keep him or her on board with you.” 

Creating clients for life is all about building relationships based on real human connections, and that’s the message found in Kuzmeski’s book. The Connectors describes how some of the world’s most successful professionals develop better, more profitable connections. And a big part of the way they do it is changing the way they think about conflict. 

As much as we all hope for smooth sailing in our interactions with clients, conflicts are bound to occur. If they never happened, anyone could be a great connector. Here are a few tips that will help you keep your business relationships from going bad- and rescue those that have started to sour. 

Extend a peace offering. It’s easy to reach out to clients when things are going well. However, it’s all too easy to avoid them when hard feelings are present. Don’t succumb to the temptation. Proactively reaching out to your clients can squash any negativity they may feel for you. Even the simplest of gestures can be effective: Offer an apology when you’ve made a mistake. Then, make things right by extending a peace offering. It doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. It can be as simple as a hand-written note, a refund, or a coupon. 

Don’t follow your “strike back” instincts. If an angry client calls you fuming mad, your knee-jerk reaction might be to argue. Remember, though, fighting anger with anger seldom works. No matter how tough it is, do the opposite of what you feel like doing. Take a deep breath and remain calm. And most of all, diffuse your client’s anger by immediately assuring him or her that you will make it right. 

Get them to listen to you by listening to them. Customers will listen to what you have to say if you respectfully listen to what they have to say first. Knowing that you are truly listening to their concerns can cause your customers to agree to your suggestions much more quickly. 

“Very few people in this world take the time to practice ‘Curious Listening,’” says Kuzmeski. “We instead partially listen, get ready to respond, and let our minds drift. But if you can practice Curious Listening, which is a form of active listening, you will differentiate yourself as someone who really cares.” 

Here are the four steps of Curious Listening: 
1. Hear the essence of what your customer is saying by repeating back what you heard.
2. Ask questions so that your customer knows that you are actively seeking to understand why something is important to them.
3. Make sure you aren’t acting on unsubstantiated assumptions. Confirm with the client that you have correctly understood what they are saying.
4. Listen for the “remarkable.” In every conversation you have with a client, he or she will say something unique and remarkable. If you listen for this “remarkable,” you will be able to come back to that later (even in a subsequent conversation) and connect with your client on a different level. 

Have a standard service protocol at the ready. Creating standards, procedures and methods of dealing with clients and servicing their needs can really help when it comes to resolving conflicts or handling a dissatisfied customer. By creating a service protocol in advance, you provide a way to “enforce” how client conflict situations are handled. 

Ask for feedback. Obviously, you don’t have to sit around anxiously wondering when a problem is going to arise. There is a way for you to avoid some client conflicts by ensuring that your customers aren’t suppressing problems. And you do that by constantly asking for feedback. 

About the Author:
Maribeth Kuzmeski is the founder of Red Zone Marketing, LLC, which consults to Fortune 500 firms on strategic marketing planning and business growth. Kuzmeski has personally consulted with some of the world’s most successful CEOs, entrepreneurs, and professionals. An internationally recognized speaker, she shares the tactics that businesspeople use today to create more sustainable business relationships, sales, and marketing successes. 

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