By Dr. Maya Bailey
When I coach real estate agents, I often hear the misconception that they need to be hard on themselves in order to succeed.
When I ask about the origin of this belief, I often receive stories of being conditioned by well-meaning teachers and parents in a controlling and rigid way.
Since we learn to treat ourselves the way we were treated, my clients are just carrying on the legacy because they don’t know how else to motivate themselves.
Unfortunately, their strategy actually works against them. Studies have shown that when we are hard on ourselves, and beat ourselves up, we actually lower our energy. This leads to decreased motivation and eventually burnout.
So what is the answer? If you’re not going to be hard on yourself, then how do you motivate yourself to succeed?
Fortunately, there is a positive solution. Research indicates that if we choose a positive and encouraging way to get ourselves focused and on track; that this can be a very efficient motivation technique.
So here are some tips on how to change your motivational strategy:
1. Awareness - Start becoming aware of the words you say to yourself every day in order to get up to speed. Do they have a positive or negative tone? Do they build you up or tear you down?
2. Observe – Observe your energy when you hear these words. Does your energy increase or decrease? If you have an inner tyrant, do you also have an inner rebel?
3. Intervene - When you become aware of how often you are being hard on yourself, it’s time to intervene. The best way to break into your own thoughts is to use the “Stop” Technique.
Here’s how it goes:
• Say “Stop” when negative voices arise
• Then, take a deep breath to interrupt the thought pattern
• Finally, put in a positive new thought
What kind of positive new thoughts should you install?
I recommend positive self talk, such as:
• I now motivate myself in a loving and encouraging way
• I inspire myself with enthusiasm and energy
• I treat myself with kindness and respect
Create your own phrases of self-talk. They can be as simple as saying “good job,” or, “you are on the right track.”
When you start treating yourself with more respect, you will notice your energy level increase. Use that increased energy to prioritize your day, and implement what you planned.
Remember, you don’t need to work harder; you just need to work smarter.
Dr. Maya Bailey, Multiple 6 Figure Income Business Coach for Real Estate Professionals, integrates her 20 years of experience as a psychologist with 15 years of expertise in marketing.
For more information, visit www.90daystomoreclients.com.
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