By Maya Bailey, Ph. D.
Step 1. Commit to being the deliberate creator of your life
What it really comes down to is that at every moment you have a choice of which mindset to be an. If you choose to be in the mindset of “I am the deliberate creator of my life” then you will choose to be proactive more often than not and your business will soar.
However, many of us have been conditioned to be in an opposite mindset which feels like life just happens to us. Perhaps we modeled ourselves after our parents who had the same mindset.
This mindset is often referred to as the “victim” mindset, because when you’re in it you really do feel like a victim of life and circumstances just seem to happen to you. It actually feels to you like life is being done to you. Examples include “I can’t succeed in my business because of the economy today” or “I can’t compete with the younger agents because they know so much more about technology than I do.”
When you’re in the victim mindset, it’s easy to blame outside circumstances on your lack of success?
Remember, “Your beliefs create your reality”. So whatever you believe becomes true for you. You believe that you don’t have what it takes to succeed, and that is what you will experience. Fortunately there is a way to clear out all self-limiting beliefs will be talking about that shortly.
Step 2. Let go of your “perfectionism”
How do you know if you suffer from the pressure of perfectionism?
Do you often take a long time to get a project out because you’re busy second-guessing yourself?
Do you often slow down so much that it almost feels like you’re paralyzed because you want the project to be perfect?
Do you often feel like you don’t really want to send out something if it has any mistakes in it?
Do you find that you’re not as productive as you could be because you’re trying to make everything perfect?
If you answered yes to any of the above, then you do suffer from the disease of perfectionism. In fact in the 15 years I have been coaching real estate agents to double and triple their income, I don’t think there has been a single agent that doesn’t have some version of this old belief that they need to be perfect.
So once you realize that you are suffering from perfectionism, what can you do about it?
This process involves going back in time in your life to an early time when you were conditioned to be perfect. Perhaps your parents expected you to be perfect. Perhaps being perfect is how you were hoping to win your parents love. Perhaps your parents were perfectionists themselves. Perhaps making the decision to try to be perfect, at a subconscious level, actually benefited you when you were growing up. Find that early time and see how it may have benefited you then.
Then come back and ask yourself what are the consequences you would suffer if you continue to tell yourself “I need to be perfect and everything I do needs to be perfect.”
There are many other negative consequences of perfectionism like stress and poor health. Once you realize that these survival strategy of “perfectionism” that worked so well for you when you were a child, actually hurts you now, it’s a lot easier to let go of the whole idea of perfectionism.
Step 3. Be nice to yourself
If you took on the belief that you need to be perfect, then most likely you suffer from having an overly developed inner critic who believes he or she needs to be hard on you in order for you to succeed.
What does this inner critic look like? Maybe you compare yourself to others and then feel “less than.” Maybe you are merciless with yourself if you make a mistake. Maybe you beat yourself up by saying unkind things to yourself. Maybe you always have the nagging feeling that you had a judgmental voice in your head that you can’t quiet down.
The solution to this problem lies in being able to practice positive self-talk. In order to practice positive self-talk, you need to become hyper-aware of what you’re thinking from moment to moment.
Whenever you find yourself saying something that is harsh or degrading to yourself, then you need to intervene as early as possible and take the following steps: Stop, deep breathe, and think positive thoughts.
Step 4. Identify and release your self-limiting beliefs
How can you possibly achieve success or create the income you want when your self-limiting beliefs are holding you back? You see, your subconscious mind is the carrier of these beliefs and your subconscious mind is 99 percent of mind. So you may be saying to me I want to be successful, but if your subconscious mind is carrying any of these self-limiting beliefs, then you will subconsciously stop yourself from success. This is where coaching can really help; it’s almost impossible for us to see these self-limiting beliefs on our own.
Your conscious mind knows exactly the steps you need to be taking to increase your income. But that is only 1 percent of your mind. The subconscious mind is blocking you and it is 99 percent of your mind. It is blocking you with self-limiting beliefs. Most of the time, these beliefs were put in your subconscious mind when you were growing up. That’s why it’s so hard to pick them out, because they are part of you. For example if I suggest you that we do a session to work with your inner critic, this’ll come as a big surprise to you because you thought you were the inner critic. But by suggesting that you talk with your inner critic, you have already broken a huge attachment now some transformation can begin.
This is true transformation. This is called “getting clear.” This is creating success from the inside out.
Dr. Maya Bailey, Multiple 6 Figure Income Business Coach for Real Estate Professionals, integrates her 20 years of experience as a psychologist with 15 years of expertise in marketing.
For more information, visit www.90daystomoreclients.com.
Copyright© 2014 RISMedia, The Leader in Real Estate Information Systems and Real Estate News. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be republished without permission from RISMedia.
Content on this website is copyrighted and may not be redistributed without express written permission from RISMedia. Access to RISMedia archives and thousands of articles like this, as well as consumer real estate videos, are available through RISMedia's REsource Licensed Content Solutions. Offering the industry’s most comprehensive and affordable content packages. Click here to learn more! http://resource.rismedia.com